Dating a serial cheater
"They take their girlfriends for granted until something catastrophic happens." When catastrophe strikes, be hard on him and tell him you won't stick around if he doesn't shape up and grow up. Going back for seconds with an old girlfriend could mean he wants to get back together with her. Most of the time, a healthy dose of reality is enough to straighten out an "immature cheater."Break It Off! Ensure that it's a one-time occurrence by letting him know two things: 1. He Was Drunk and It Wasn't Emotional Ah yes, the "It Doesn't Count if I Was in a Different Country/Zip Code/Bar" excuse. "This type of guy is immature, but he's not necessarily an innate cheater," explains Kudia. You won't judge him or think less of him if he gets fired or screws up at work or does anything else that threatens his ego. He takes a few too many shots, temporarily forgets he is attached, and makes out with whatever girl is at arm's length in the bar. And luckily for you, most boys grow out of immaturity (whereas a natural-born cheater will seldom change his ways.) "Many young, college-age men don't understand the importance of a relationship," says Kudia. It’s part of the “fuck you.” They’re doing a little competition with you — the pick me dance that affair partners do. Will using our marital bed get me kibbles right now? Uh, isn’t it a game unless we we’re playing a game? If you're capable of forgiving him and moving on, do just that. We're not suggesting flowers and crying will get him off the hook.
"Their self-expression is often limited to anger and sex." It sounds a bit counterintuitive, but if things are going well between you two, he is more likely to hook up with another woman when things get rough in other parts of his life. "He may not want to burden you with his problems," explains Kudia. "He views it as his one last hurrah." This isn't a get-out-of-jail-free card, though. Then move on, knowing that this type of cheater usually doesn't slip up more than once.He Fesses Up ASAPOf all the ways a woman can discover a philanderer, one of the least common is hearing it from the horse's mouth. View it as a cry for help." He doesn't want to do it again, and his way of ensuring that is by getting you to lay down the law. Set some guidelines and—this is important—enforce them. It’s not enough risk-taking to just cheat, you have to amp up the drama — you have to flaunt it right under your chump’s nose. I’m not saying all cheaters are sociopaths — but the sadistic fucks who take delight in the double life, enjoy flagrantly humiliating you, and never think the day will come when they’re found out?
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Yes, even the most amazing, flower-sending, call-returning, make-your-friends-jealous boyfriends have been known to stray.